if a cockroach ever touches one of my limbs I’m chopping it off 

(via thatsmoderatelyraven)

heroesnotgods asked: Hi Alise. If you could only choose only three movies to watch for a year, which three would they be?

That’s a hard one! I’ll have to go with:
Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers [Extended edition]
She’s the Man
Shawshank Redemption

Anonymous asked: I've seen six selfies of 2k14 and six selfies that make you feel good. not sure which is the right one.

Oh ok! I might have to do that

Anonymous asked: Have you done the six selfies thing?
Anonymous asked: This is 911, pls ignore the other 911. We are here to serve, protect and entertain. *starts playing ymca*

Bless. *bows and offers eternal servitude*
Pls fix my boredom

orgasmatr0n asked: Your mom is 😍😍😍

Right!‽ 😭🔥

Anonymous asked: This is nine one one, stop calling us.

But i wouldn’t have to call if you would actually fix my mess. geez learn to job